Nepalese people are very religious, a quality that permeates on every level of society. Most people in the country believe in a mix of Hinduism and Buddhism plus a small dosage of animism. There are three concepts that help understand how Nepalese society works:
- Castes: people are roughly divided in 4 groups. The occupations, professions, and opportunities are determined by which caste you belong to. Westeners are in the third lowest caste (untouchables but unslaveables). Most people in the mountains care very little about castes.
- Dharma: this is accepting ones destiny and trying to fulfill it as best as possible. This is what keeps porters happy carrying heavy loads all their lives.
- Family: extended families are very important and there is a strong sense of unity. This goes far, for example, favors on a family member must be paid by other family members (I was told that it's common to give a child as a servant to a family that helps a sibling to study abroad).
As a foreigner you get a lot of leeway when breaking customs. However here a few tips:
- Feet are considered dirty. Never touch, point, or move anything with your feet. The left hand is also dirty. Never touch any food, receive anything, or give anything just with your left hand (both hands are ok).
- Never touch anybody on the head, not even children. Parents appreciate when you pick up a child and rub his belly.
- Kitchens are "pure" places. Never enter a kitchen without an explicit invitation. Also, don't sit to eat with other Nepalese people unless you are invited to join them.
- Dress conservatively. Shorts and tanks are inappropriate for both men and women. A bare chested men is considered vulgar (even if you are swimming in a lake). Nudity is completely unacceptable (unless you are a holy man).
- Respect religious customs: always spin praying wheels clockwise. Go around stupas and other monuments clockwise as well. Always give a small donation when leaving a temple (20 rupees, about $0.25 is enough).
- Maybe means no. It's hard for Nepalese to say "no" to a request. Instead, they answer "maybe". If you get a "maybe" answer, get the hint. Similarly, avoid a direct "no" to a request as this is considered rude.
In my opinion, as a visitor, one needs to adapt to the local customs and respect them. Looking at other cultures as equals and not trying to change them is an imperative for a traveler. A short anecdote about this, many visitors comment about how disgusting they find the way Nepalese clear their throats and noses. It came to a surprise to me that Nepalese find our use of handkerchiefs as repulsive as they can't understand why we would put a soiled cloth back into a pocket (by the way, using disposable tissues is more acceptable).
If you want to learn more about Nepalese customs, I highly recommend the book Nepal - Culture Smart!.
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